"in my mind my dreams are real"
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i have this fantasy that i can have a small camera like a leica or sony a7 with a moderate wide and short tele lens and a small computer like a macbook air or surface pro and just keep that part of my life in a small camera bag when i don’t need it, which would be most of the time, really, and spend the rest of the time reading and doing school and whatnot.

ultimately though i feel like a real photographic kit for me would consist of a canon dslr setup with macro and telephoto lenses (think 1Dx, 100/180 L macro lenses, and something like a 70-200 or a 200 f/2), the leica monochrom with an 18 super elmar, and the 35 and 75 summicron lenses, and a phase one super achromatic on an alpa fps/12stc/max body with … well i kinda know what lenses i want for that but i haven’t put so much effort into looking at them because i don’t want to drive myself insane. everything i mention here though has a purpose that i’ve thought about a lot, and i wish i was in a position to be able to get at least some of it, like the canon kit for god’s sake.

having that much gear would make me feel sorta obnoxious though. i’d want it for awhile, just to use it to make work that i know i’d need it for, and then probably sell most of it and just keep the necessary snapshot stuff, but i don’t know.

i’m really into the idea of minimizing the amount of … things? consumer objects? distractions? around me. one of these fantasies is that i’d be able to do everything i want to do on an ipad and then back all my photos up to my own personal cloud (ie, running off my own personal server/mainframe type system) - but i don’t think any of the technology is there to do that effectively right now (i could probably do it with cloud services but giving other people shit as intimate as my raw files freaks me the fuck out).

hence why i want something like a macbook air or a surface - they’re “real computers” and can handle files easier, and then something like an a7, which i could adapt to most anything i shoot (which is mostly stationary objects or posed portraits).

i would really like an alpa and a phase one super achro though, i need shift/tilt movements and i really, really want to see how far you could push that monochrome chip doing things like false color/tri-color imaging and what not.

i think about stuff like this a lot, and i’m sorry i don’t have a very cohesive way to talk about it right now - but i want to talk about it, so i’m posting this. apologies.

i think i’m just saying i’d like to be able to live out of a suitcase, but more than that - it’s not about wanting to move around, it’s about just wanting to focus on “being” more than anything.

what else are u supposed to do when you see a tumblr artist on tinder other than apply your current working aesthetic onto a screenshot of them?

what else are u supposed to do when you see a tumblr artist on tinder other than apply your current working aesthetic onto a screenshot of them?

twelve hour video of an andy warhol hologram playing kim kardashian hollywood on a commodore amiga

“We are something like apparitions today; juggling a multiplicity of selves through the noise; the “you” you are on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Tinder…wherever…at your day job, your night job, your hobby, your primary relationship, your friend-with-benefits, your incredibly astonishing range of extracurricular activities. But this hyperfragmentation of self gives rise to a kind of schizophrenia; conflicts, dissocations, tensions, dislocations, anxieties, paranoias, delusions. Our social wombs do not give birth to our true selves; the selves explosive with capability, possibility, wonder.”

Ok this train ride is boring so I’m gonna type more.

I’ve decided to not 100% give up on film. I have decided though that I want to start shooting transparency film exclusively though. I feel like that just makes the most sense. Easiest to scan, easiest to present, and has the most sacred object hood out of all other film types. I think slide film also echoes digital the best, not only in how much of a bitch they are to shoot, but in the illuminated object sense (thinking here of images displayed on screens, whether that’s a projection screen or and LCD).

Prints are not sacred objects, they are disposables. Death to the photographic print.

Photographs are light, and we can consume them as light only.

This is an ideological position, like I stated earlier.

I hope people realize that I’m totally aware I how stupid/kitschy/ridiculous the gradient thing is. I don’t imagine my photos that way. I like them as a sort of frame so I can create my own context around the images further and be less constrained by the limits of the platform that’s hosting them. I know I’ve said this before, and I probably should write one long formal thing about it, but no one would read that, so I need to remind you all. I mostly need to remind myself though.

Something I don’t understand is why people don’t like writing about work though. Like, I’m an ideas guy, right, and I get off on this stuff. If there isn’t a purpose to something, I can’t get into it. Similarly, I don’t feel like in a day and age where images are everywhere and we consume them so quickly that we can’t have written statements with out work. Images are disposables. Ideas stick. What’s had more of an impact on culture, ancient oriental art or the Bible? Yeah. - I’m also afraid of people misreading what I do, and that also makes me want to write about it.

Typing on an iPhone sucks I’ll rant about this shit later tonight.

Going downtown again this morning, it’s too nice out not to. Have a better idea of what/where I want to shoot as well, so should be cool.